Morning of day 40

I feel like garbage.
sick
up all night with a migrane
and i threw up
which made me feel a little better
but not much
and now i'm sittin here
[and this part is gonna get kinda personal, i just need to throw it out there, dont need anyone to talk to me about it at all, so just read and enjoy]
just sittin here and reading people's facebook updates
and peoples myspaces
and peoples twits
and some people that i know are popping out at me.
i knew them once, and ... then there was a time where we stopped talking
and we both changed
idk why it happened or how it could have
we were so close ya know?
and then for us to kinda go separate ways well...
it was hard
it is hard
i've recently made more attempts to start a friendship up again.
but the conversations just can never be the same as they once were.
last night i got on and checked out thier senior pictures and
for the first time in oh probably 2 years almost
i saw a glimpse of the person i once knew
status changed back to single
country song, and country background
and idk, it just got me thinking about how we are all trying to grow up
and how we are in the middle of figuring out who we are
and what kind of person we want to be
or rather, what kind of person we are meant to be

i really hope that everyone is doing good
its so hard to try and keep up with so many people
shoot its hard enough trying to keep up with myself.
life is moving so fast
by this time next year i'll be on a mission
probably in some place like china
which scares the poop out of me to think
but. idk. i need to eat something
sigh. yeah
i need to stop before these tears turn to my sobbing
and gettin all wet and
my nose starts to drip
and and .

okay. sorry. just some random thoughts before work
i am suprised i'm up at all.
and moving around
-Living proof that The Lord answers prayers, and that He loves me. He wants me to keep moving on, to be out there and enjoying life.
There was a youtube vid by one of my favorite youtubers and he talked about the end of the world and living life to it's fullest.
That had always kinda been my philosophy, so it got me thinking even more about whether my life is being lived how i want it to be lived. and how The Lord wants it lived.
I concured with myself that i don't think either of us are disappointed with where i'm at right now, but that im just not in the place i thought i'd be when i started planning my life 1,2,or 5 years ago.
uh okay only 3 more minutes of this
then i'm off to eat.
well i guess tho that i'm pretty much done with those thoughts for now
so here's whats going on in my life in 2 min.
I'm working, and this week it is mondat through friday
and i told my manager to not schedual me for that many days anymore.
cuz duh i could be in oregon NOT paying rent etc and working full time
so he agreed.
i'm glad i was able to stand up to my boss and tell him what was on my mind.
tonight i do belive is ACTUALLY this time going to be tye dying for fhe
and i'm excited for that

okay breakfast time
and i need to do some cleaning
and laundry and stuff this week.
ttyl
Love you all
byeee